Money is a funny thing. This isn't the first time I've realized it, but I don't think there's ever a time when you have everything you want. There SHOULD be, but more often than not there's some software you need, a better car, more food, extra gadgets around the house you want, etc. Money is a strange animal.

"Does anyone have change for a button?" - Monty Burns attempting to "donate" to the Simpsons after their Christmas presents were "stolen."

Lest I forget: THE BEARS STILL SUCK!!

"...everytime she sneezes I believe it's love..."
"...every word is nonsense but I understand..."

I love when I go on Counting Crows kicks.

It's been a little while but I've had two unique experiences in the last week. Surreal you might say. I went to the LGMS band concert last Tuesday and was astounded by the crowd. The bands were great. The principal announced at the beginning that he'd appreciate the audience being a good example to the kids. The audience proceeded to talk the entire time. Loudly. A mother was encouraging her child to yell things during the songs. The lady next to me was knitting a full size red blanket. I'm not lying. I looked at her about 479 times to make sure I wasn't halucinating. A GIANT RED BLANKET.

So tonight I went to the orchestra concert. Again, the talking doesn't stop. Two ladies in front of me were talking LOUDLY the whole time.
(During a song)
Lady: "HEY, CAN I SEE YOUR PROGRAM?"
Me: "Yes." (whispered)
Lady: "WHERE'D YOU GIT IT?"
Me: "In the lobby." (whispered)
Lady: "I DIDN'T GIT ONE!"
Me: embarrassed.

Then there was the Hispanic family behind me that decided their 3 kids under the age of 4 should just kick the bleachers, bang their toys around, and constantly yell things in Spanish. Not a single form of discipline was enforced. None. Unless starring forward as if your children didn't exist is a form of discipline.

Is this specific to my area? Or are parents really this inept everywhere? It's hard to imagine...

Also, things are better personally. God will never give me more than I can handle, this I know for sure. That's very comforting. Wait, He'll never give me more than I can handle WITH HIM. I can handle nothing on my own.

Go Packers. Boy, did they ever look like crap last night and they still pulled it out. Favre threw three and ran for one TD...man, he can be good. Kind of worried about Sunday's game against the Bears. Win and we're in first, lose and we're 2 out. We'll see...

I had another one of those "Am I really cut out for ministry?" moments a few minutes ago. My pastor called and said the dad of a friend of a girl (and her sister) who's come to youth group once (a connection none the less) had a heart attack while undergoing exploratory surgery and is on a ventillator and will most likely die very soon. The dad is 41. The same girls who's friend it is lost their aunt to a heart attack a couple weeks ago. She was 40. Those same girls' house burned down a few months ago because their brother fell asleep with a cigarette burning. The brother's dad committed suicide last year. Another boy in my youth group's MIA. No address, no phone number...the school is getting involved. Another girl tried to explain her family situation to me the other day and I was completely lost. And I'm among the ranks of broken families...her's is more than broken.

It's almost unbelievable. Julie and I talk about this place being a mission field at home. I almost don't even feel like it's home anymore, though. The culture here is absolutely unlike anything I've experienced. I'm being thrust into situations that I'm leary of or just...weary of. Do I go visit a girl at a hospital that I've never met while her dad is dying? What's protocol for that? I'm just confused, upset, even a little scared. I certainly don't feel like a leader; spiritual or otherwise.

God I'm crying out for strength and wisdom. Help me to be compassionate and reckless in my love for others.

Again, I've been slapped in the face with the truth that ministry is messy.

Sorry if I've seemed a bit negative in my posts lately. They're mostly meant to be funny. I'll try to be more possitive.

The next time a telemarketer calls me and says, "Now, I'm not going to ask for any sort of donation..." I'm going to cut the off with a nice, loud "BULLCRAP." Boy, does that ever chap my hide.

I'm actually listening to a Christmas cd today. But it's incredible. "A Charlie Brown Christmas: Vince Guaraldi Trio." I'm not really into listening to Christmas music and all that, but maybe I'll get into it this year. Doubt it.

I hate when you go to a fastfood place and they fill the ENTIRE cup with ice. "Can I get some Mountain Dew with my ice?"

People (including me) sure can get sensitive at random times about random things. I think that's pretty interesting.

KFC's pot pies are absolutely terrible. It's entirely crust and the crust is so dry...I had to dip my crust in the side of mashed potatoes I had to get to have something good.

Last night when I got into bed Julie was already sleeping. She was startled as I got in but it wasn't just because it was me. She said, and I quote, "I was expecting a girl." WHAT'S THAT? I almost wet my pants, it was that funny. I love those still-sleeping-conversations.

I was just looking up 30 Bible verses for a game tonight and I was blown away (as usual) by scripture. 30 different verses from nearly all seperate books in the Bible, all profound and full of truth in their own way. God's Word continues to amaze me...

Ministry is messy. That thought ran through my head last night as I visited with a family going through some difficult things. I even had one of those kicks and dubbed them a "Jesus family"which is my new term for a family Jesus would have ministered to. I had a knee jerk reaction and thought, "THIS is ministry! Everything else is just a cakewalk! People with no problems making each other feel good!" hehe But honestly, Jesus is so intriguing. We have this image of him (or at least I do) that all his ministry stuff went perfect. How many times did a whore try to pick him up? How many times did a drunk try to pick a fight while Jesus ministered in a bar? How many times did a thief try to steal from Jesus? How many filthy conversations were going on with and around Christ? He got dirty. He got messy. He went to those who NEEDED him. Jesus did it up right, y'all.

After a few spins, Third Day's newest cd has really grown on me. I'm not exactly sure how it's different from their others, but it is for sure. The more I listen to it the more I love it. Vintage Mac Powell. Boy am I ever glad Essential forced them upon me. hehe

Does anybody else see the immense humor in a genital herpes remedy ad being played during Temptation Island? Or as we are to call it, "Ti2." Pathetic. Why would people watch this junk? I mean, one of the couples doesn't even LIKE each other now, why would they stay together after this. Simply ludicrous.

The Big Breakfast at McDonalds really is big. Considering the cost ($2.99) and what you get (pancakes, eggs, sausage, biscuit, hashbrowns) I'd say it's a fabulous deal. Although, the results of eating this meal are yet to be discovered.

I heard a rumor that ORANGE has take the leave, er, LEAD in the poll. Keep it up folks! All 3 of you. ;-)

Feel free to sign the guestbook, too. I mean, April was a good month to sign but November is even better!

It's been brought to my attention that my poll has garnered only 4 votes so far. To that I say: So? My stupid guestbook is a doozy, too. hehe

What an incredible World Series. AZ paid back the Yanks for their 2 9th inning comebacks with one of their own to win the whole thing! Mr. Grahmann wonn't be happy but I'm sure he'll appreciate all the good ball that was played. It's about time someone besides the Yankees won! :-)

I've been informed (by my wife) that my quote about "bringing it all around" didn't make much sense. I started the blog with "Halloween" and ended it with "Halloween." She thinks a comedian is good if they're able to use a joke at the beginning and then "bring it all around" and end his act with the same idea or joke somehow. Anyway...

Halloween. Quite the controversial topic. That is, it's controversial if you're ignorant or Pharisaical. I wish Christians would get their act together and not take people like Jack Chick's word for it. Do some research before you deem something Satanic or Demonic. As my wife says, "Bring it back around." Halloween.

I'll tell you what's genius: when people warn the dang Blogbot. morons...

I'm pretty sure I'll be able to blog today. "To Blog." A new verb.

To further the notion of a small world, I'm readying a package of Christmas cards to be sent to my friend Karri in Zambia, Africa to distribute. I'm printing maps and pictures for my youth group to see where their cards are being sent. Awesome...

Man, our world has become so small. My father-in-law emailed from an internet cafe in a small village in Russia. It's incredible that anybody could hide in our world today.

I'm watching the Yankees and Mariners and decided to try this blogbot thing out. The Badgers blew it today in Il but they had a lot of help from the refs, that's for sure. Hopefully the Packers can salvage the Wisconsin sports weekend by spanking the Viqueens in MN. We'll see...

Relationships are incredible. I went to a pastor's conference tonight (that was about 10 minutes from my house) to see my brother-in-law who was there. It was really cool because he's from Minneapolis so we never see him. Well, in the process, I saw a TON of people who I got to hug and love and remember things with...It was so great and I really needed it. I saw Angie and her parents. Angie and I were friends when we were elementary age kids and her dad pastored our church. I haven't seen her parents since they left when I was in 5th grade! They looked awesome and said I looked "handsome" and the memories just rolled back. Hugging Mrs. West and feeling the warmth and love of them both. I got to see Andy and Mark from camp. Mark is out in Cali going to school while Andy got married but is still helping at the district office. I got to talk to Mr. and Mrs. Keller. They're the parents of one of my more serious girlfriend's in high school, Krista. Mr. Keller stares right into your eyes while he talks to you. He doesn't blink, he doesn't look away, and he usually smiles. Unless he's being serious...then he burns holes through your head. hehe He goes, "Remember that talk we had on the porch? That was great!" "For YOU!" I said as we laughed, remembering full well how scared I was that day on the porch but realizing where we both are now. He and his wife are adopting a baby! They're in their 50's but it's so cool. They are super sweet. I got to see Mike and Marla get ordained. The same with Christine (and Lion) Mendoza. I even saw Pastor Tim and he was hilarious as usual. Alex and I talked youth stuff with Mike Smith for a long time, too. Then Alex and I got to talk for a while by ourselves. It was wonderful. The love I felt tonight was incredible. I truly loved each person I conversed with. What an incredible lift...

Then I got home and found out...

Apparently, the Davis kids were left at church. I watched each kid leave and say goodbye to me (including, but not limited to, the Davis's) and then went back to clean up and get some stuff from my office. When I left I looked around and saw nobody so I left. The story is, they went around the corner and sat to wait for their parents...who never showed. I feel so stupid but I know I did everything right. Oh, well...guess I'll need to talk to their parents. From what I hear, they waited an hour and half before the choir found them!! What is that? Gets me all riled up...

Anyway, tonight was awesome and I love Jesus. I want him to capture my heart. I want to hear the call for compassion and heed that call.

One thing I LOVE is when you balance your checkbook and it's EXACTLY right. mmm...

I never get sick. Maybe that's why it's taken me two weeks of hacking to decide to call the doctor in the morning. I think I might have bronchitis. Man, I hate being sick. It just drains me of all my energy and I think that's the worst part. Oh, well...I guess I'll find out tomorrow.

Also, I'm in one of those funks where I just don't want to think. Mostly theologically, too. There are so many topics that are so difficult to grasp and every once in a while I just need a break. My break this time might actually be really good. I got my first correspondence course from Moody yesterday and looked it over today. It's "Elements of Bible Study" which shouldn't be too hard but it looks exciting none the less. It looks way harder (which better) than my course from LBC so I'm excited, in a weird way, about that. It'll actually make me think and study and apply it, etc. Plus it's all pretty self-contained in one "manual" and one text book which is great for me. Then I can check it off as I go and all that...very manly. :-) The really cool thing about this whole education business is that it's for me and God. I have to remember that. It impresses many people but ultimately it's for me to grow and for God to teach me. That's exciting.

Why is it so dang hot in here? It must be 80 dang degrees. What happened to the 40's? yeesh...

Oh, and I was impressed by George W. tonight. He handled the conference really well and he seemed very informed and passionate about all of this. He made me feel safe...even though Tony Blair (prime minister of the UK) makes me want to sit on his lap and have him tell me stories all day.

Well, we had out turkey dinner and it was awesome! I got to greet people as they came in and waited to be seated in tables of 10. The best part was the youth, though. They all worked so hard and made me very proud. And I recruited FOUR kids who said they'll come next Wed.!!! Unbelievable. This girl Caitlyn is really cool and is Abby's friend. Then the Davis kids who have never been to our church before just showed up and helped serve and clean for four hours!! The youth really impressed me tonight. They have awesome hearts and I think we need to do lots more service oriented stuff. Julie did a fabulous job in the kitchen, too. What a great night.

Hopefully I'll post much more tomorrow. I'll have time, so if I don't...there'll be trouble.

We're having our turkey dinner at church tonight. It's an annual thing and apparently we feed about 800-1000 people, including carryout. The setup has been incredible, as can be imagined. Couple things to blog about when I come back later:

The Badgers. Can they BE any worse?
therock.blogspot.com - check it out.

Well, it's a new "most tragic day in America" today. It's also my birthday. Quite strange to try and shuffle the two. Both towers of the WTC were destroyed, the Pentagon was hit, and there are most likely thousands dead. I've been in front of the tv most of the day in a state of disbelief. There have been moments that I've started to really worry about war and further attacks. I still don't think it's sunk in yet. The nations airways are SHUT DOWN. There is not a single airplane in the sky as I write this. That is unfathomable. This is truely a global event. From now on, my birthday will be associated with this catastrophic event. How awkward. My head can't get around all this yet...God, save our nation.

Stupid Badgers. Had a GREAT first half and then convene after halftime to absolutely blow it. They get ramshackled at home. Oh, well...they're young and the 2 stars (Davis and Lee) performed very nicely. The next few years should be interesting.

I also noticed that when "my team" loses, I'm affected much more than when I watch a "bad" movie. I get mad, violent, angry, I cuss, etc. Every time the announcer says something to bug me I want to go and kick him in the... I guess what I mean is that sports are entertainment as well and I really need to judge whether watching them helps or hinders me. I LOVE watching sports, but can I handle it when my team loses? hmm...

Check out my other Blogspot. I linked to it. I hope it'll be really good because it's about my youth group and our progress and whatnot.

I DO NOT understand how the Dominican Republic works. They have HORRIBLE records of birth which leads to tons of problems. There's this pitcher in Little League who basically kicked everybody's butts and now they think he's actually 14 instead of 12. There are all these conflicting documents and none of them are official. This always happens with D.R. players, too. How annoying.

Why does Barry Bonds have to be such a jerk?? He's hitting home runs by the boat load and nobody cares because he treats everyone like crap. I just saw him get walked and he literally just threw his bat and pads on home plate instead of thinking AT ALL and putting them nearer to the bat boy. I know it's a very little thing, but seeing him do it just seemed to say, "How annoying. Why do I bother?" Come down off your high horse, Barry. You're good at baseball...yippee. Do you know how many people don't care about that at ALL?

Are you kidding me? It's the middle of August? Crazy talk, I say. This year has gone so fast. I'm writing very short sentances again. Hopefully you don't mind. So what's new....?

I'm now OFFICIALLY the youth director! Julie and I met with the church board last Sunday night and they unanimously voted me into the team. It feels amazing and I'm SO excited to get in here and get going. There are ENDLESS possibilities, too. That can be a great thing and a...hard thing at the same time. There are so many options, ideas, games, topics, projects, etc. that it can be overwhelming at times. I really need to focus and write down all of things floating through my mind or I'll never remember all of them. It's the best feeling to go to church, sit at my desk, and realize that I'm at WORK. Incredible.

Julie and I are doing awesome. We worked on our hospitality this last week when we hosted 5 friends (2 one day, 3 the other) at our "tourist town" home. :-) We had SO much fun going to the beach, bowling, going to Starbucks, playing N64, hanging out...it was just awesome. I love our friends. Also, Julie is just incredible. She made us all breakfast and everything. I've been seeing how awesome she is (again) lately. She inspires me and I love that about my wife.

Another thing I love is football. I'm so glad it's starting!! Some UW boys are really making an impact, too, which will be fun to watch this season. See if Chambers and Bennett can rip up the league. I'll see if I can get completely engrossed in my fantasy leagye, too. hehe I won my league two years ago, but last year was only mediocre. My team looks pretty sweet this year, so we'll see.

Well, back to the Dolphin game. See if my boy can pull in some receptions.

Well, "unofficially" official is the decision that I'm now the Youth Director of Como Community Church. PRAISE GOD!! Also, I was accepted to Moody last week. God has awesome things in store...and I love it. :-)

Arg. Being really happy and slightly frustrated is kind of a strange position to be in. It seems like God has plopped the "perfect situation" into my lap and yet the process of having it officially happy has me a bit confused.

This church close to us (Como Community Church) is in need of a youth director and I've "interviewed" (or something) and it's been great. Julie and I met with the pastor for over 2 hours the other day and loved it and went to church there today and out to lunch...and loved it. Unfortunately, we don't know where they stand. I told him tonight that I would LOVE to fill the position but he never really said what he thought. From their actions, I'd say they're really happy with me, but I don't even know for sure if I'm the only candidate. So I'm meeting with him again tomorrow to see if there's a time frame or any organized process we're actually going through.

When something's a little more concrete I'll write more. But for now, God please guide me through this! :-)

So, this wedding I went to...it got me thinking about a lot of things. First of all, it was my cousin's and I totally love her and everything, so don't think I'm getting all down on her or any thing. :-)

It was a Catholic wedding, first of all. VERY different experience, even than our wedding. We actually had people as we walked out of this wedding commenting on how much fun they had at OUR wedding. hehe The church it was at is actually the first Catholic church in WI which was pretty cool. It was the church my mom went to as a little girl, too. Unfortunately, it wasn't air conditioned and the sound system was poor. The first thing that got me was all the art/statues/etc. For some reason, it hit me wrong this time. It was so distracting and there were SO many statues of Jesus even right next to each other. Then the shrines in the front to Mary and Joseph...didn't like that. I usually don't care to much about "imagery" but like I said, it seemed too much to me.

The ceremony itself was different. Being not able to hear the priest was tough in and of itself. Everything that was done seemed so "canned" and passion-less. Just lots of monotone repeating of words. Standing and sitting, too. Overall, it was just very awkward to me.

Then I got thinking about these things: The church in "middle America" and the sanctity of marriage. The minute people were out of the church, everyone was drinking beer. I'm talking about the wedding party. Drinking in their wedding clothes in the church parking lot out of the back of a pick-up. What is that?? I'm wondering if drinking is just so much a part of small town life that it's just like having a soda? Who knows.

Also, my cousin and her husband were already living together before they were married and sleeping in the same bed, I can only assume...isn't it the priests job to address this?? I know a couple who was recently turned down by 3 pastors because the situation was addressed and they refused to change. Shouldn't it be the same with the Catholic church? If marriage is so sacred and important, shouldn't all "problems" be addressed and "fixed" before the priest allows them to wed? It just doesn't seem consistent to me. I was given a statistic that 43% of all married Catholics lived together beforehand. I also just read an article in the New York Times about a month ago that said the church's divorce rate is much higher than un-churched people. Am I the only one seeing a GIGANTIC problem?? It just boggles my mind.

To think that not living together and not having pre-marital sex is a good thing in this day and age seems outdated. All I know is that I'm glad Julie and I didn't do those things.

Well, it's been one week and what a week it's been!! Julie got home safe and sound last Tuesday night and it's been incredible ever since. On Thursday I took her to this amazing resort in Mequon, WI. Go to www.sybaris.com and check out the deluxe swimming pool room. Yes, a 22 foot POOL in our OWN room. Incredible. It was amazing. Then we went to Madison on Friday night to see her parents and go to my cousin's wedding on Saturday. The wedding experience was a strange one which I'll probably tackle later. We went to church on Sunday and got new curtains and plants for the apartment yesterday. It's been a busy week, but a love-filled one, too.

Seriously, Julie being gone for 3 weeks really sparked new flames in us for each other. Our relationship is the best it's ever been. I love her so much. So that's that. :-)

Work is a whole different story. I want to quit so bad. There is NO communication where I work. I called Sunday night for my schedule and everybody is all mad and freaking out because it's not there. So I call Monday and my boss answers and says the schedule has been up since Friday. So somebody is full of crap. Then he tells me I'm working til close 4 days this week when it was made perfectly clear when I was hired that I wanted to work days. He has no concept of how to schedule or anything. I'm just very frustrated with the people I work with, my boss, and all the stuck up tourists. I almost punched a guy the other day. erg.

Lastly, I think "sass" is a GREAT word. As in, "I don't need any sass out of you, missy."

Approximately 8 hours until my wife is back in America. I'm super nervous. I got up at 7am with butterflies, like Christmas morning when you're a little kid. I still have them, too.

Time passes...

Now I'm on my way to the airport to get her. I cannot wait any longer. :-)

My wife, from distant lands no less, has requested more blogging from me, her husband. I have no choice but to comply. :-)

A couple weird things happened at work today. I was pretty darn tired because of the day I had anyway. It was a GREAT day, though! I haven't had a day where I felt I had accomplished so much in a long time. It's awesome to get things done; especially when they're going to bring so much joy to someone else. hehe Anyway, I lent a cd that my friends made to a co-worker who's Christian. It's an incredible worship cd, which is lacking in this area. I really thought he'd dig it because worship at his church is super...old. I asked him what he thought when I got to work today and he said the only song he liked was the only one they didn't write. "Jesus, Holy and Annointed One...Jesus." So anyway, he said musically it sounded great, it just wasn't his "style." That's fine, but for some reason I got really offended. I didn't shhow it at all, but deep down, I felt like he was dissing my friends. I think that music impacts us on such a deep level, so when someone "doesn't like" your kind of music, it's hard to deal with. Like, "How in the world could this NOT impact you?" I hope I'm not alone in this...

Another thing was that I had one of my beliefs bluntly questioned. This kid I work with is thinking about "giving his life to Christ" but he asked me, "Do you think that it might just not be right for some people?" I was baffled as to how to answer that. In my mumbling I basically said that if you really have a desire in your heart to seek God, I think it's open to you. I believe that. But I think he could tell I was thinking about all the predestination stuff as I was talking. So that was really awkward. Secondly, I got to think what it means to "give your life to Christ." Is it an instant action? He said he already gave his life to Christ a couple days ago but hasn't seen any change and doesn't feel any different. I asked him what it meant to him to do that and he couldn't respond. Honestly, I couldn't really either. I think it's imperative to understand what Christ did on the cross and believe in the resurection. You need to accept that; the sacrifice and that Christ is risen and lives again. I guess I'm not sure what imediate evidence there is when you place your faith in Him...lots of thinking to do. :-)

Well, I'm already going to get less sleep than I want, but that's ok. I work at 5:30am but I don't work too long, which is nice. I'll have plenty of time to take a little nap if needed. I really need to look forward to tomorrow. Attack it. God will give me rest.

Oh, and wife...get your booty home to me. I miss you.

Don't worry everyone, the mush will stop in less than a week! :-)

As I stared out the window of this corner diner, complaining about how small my steak was and how my "salad" was just lettuce, I saw approximately 47.625 "cute couples." Then the complaint of "only lettuce" turned into, "Julie's favorite salad consists of only lettuce." I miss her so much. Walking around downtown, by the lake/beach, was not a great idea. Seeing all these couples hand-in-hand was torture! And I'm a GUY! I must really miss her a lot. Being married is sooooo cool, but makes it infinately more difficult to be apart. The thing I might be most afraid of at this point is...how long will it be before I take it for granted again? Up til now, I honestly feel like I've been taking things for granted. Our time together has been affected by my selfishness because I've just rested in the fact that we're married. It's embarrassing to admit this to the world (or the 4 people that read this) but that's how I feel. It's like every other area of my life. I know WHAT to do, I just don't do it. i want to make Julie feel like the most beautiful, smart, important woman in the universe and I think I'm failing. More walks, games, reading together, bike rides (?), talks, pillow fights, trips, flowers...less tv, laying around, bad communication, laziness...I need to be a man and step up to the plate. I need to do more for the right reasons. I need to put her first and act accordingly.

Baby, if you read this, I mean it.

So I'm off to work in a half hour. Just enough time to watch some of our wedding video again and remember how incredible the best day of my life was. To see Julie smile the way she did that day...my wife has the most incredible smile. Plus, she looked super hot. :-) That smile cuts straight to my heart...exactly what I need right now. Jules, you're not the only lonely one. I miss you and am waiting for you.

I played some cross-cultural basketball today at the park. Nearly died, too. I went to shoot around and there were some guys playing who asked me to join them. Only one spoke english. There were 3 other Spanish guys and a Russian. Then me; the little, white, one armed guy. So we played some 3 on 3 and I was on fire. I ended up scoring 9 of our 15 points. They were all shocked that this one armed whitey could play ball. hehe Unfortunately I'm quite out of shape. So late in the game, my legs literally gave out as I made a move towards the hoop. You know when you see a little kid running and then they get top heavy and it's just a matter of a few more steps before they tumble forward? That's what I looked like. I made the move and immediately mumbled, "Crap, here I go..." Ripped up my arm pretty good but I was ok. A couple plays later I actually scored the winning bucket, driving to the hoop on this buff spanish hombre. It was a pretty cool experience, especially since my team won. :-) A couple scrapes are worth the glory of a pick-up game victory.

Today's tip: When meeting 5 Spanish and Russian people, don't expect to remember their names for more then .73 seconds.

When visiting (or living in) Lake Geneva, WI, never attempt to say the following:

"I'm going to the store quick."
"I'm going to the gas station quick."
"I'm running to Starbucks quick"
"I'm going to go get a banana split from Culvers at 9:30pm...quick"
"I'm going to ________ quick."

It simply is not going to happen. Sometimes I really despise this dumb town. Hey, tourists...GO THE DANG HECK AWAY! OF COURSE IT'S GOING TO BE CROWDED IF EVERY RESIDENT OF CHICAGO COMES TO LAKE GENEVA AT THE SAME STINKIN' TIME!!!!

ahem...Lord, please bless me with patience. Amen.

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. Not as good as I thought it'd be. Impressive but...I guess I just didn't get into it. The fighting was cool and there was a decent plot. I'm sure there was tons of deep stuff I just completely missed. I'll have to read some reviews and junk.

Dagnabit. My stereo speakers keep going in and out. Bad connection. I speak. In fragments. Actually, I type. In fragments.

Do you ever get in a cleaning mood? I do. I'm not in one right now, but in about an hour I know I will be. Good thing I can sleep in tomorrow. Speaking of cleaning...

could this be any more random or boring?

Couple loose ends to tie up:

First of all, I DID get 3 wisdom teeth out. It went really well, except I still can't feel the back left part of my mouth. Kind of sucky but...whatever. Also, I TOTALLY got on Julie's insurance in time! They approved our application and everything worked out. It's a Christmas miracle! Seriously, that was awesome.

Secondly, I've chosen to switch schools. I'll be going for my associate's and then bachelor's degrees from Moody Bible Institute in Chicago. I researched and prayed a lot and I'm super excited about it. My application will be sent by the end of this week and then we'll get the ball rolling. :-)

Oh, also, I wrote a best selling book called "My Life In The WWF: The Rock."

One of the preceeding three statements is false. Try to figure it out.

Love always,
The Rock

It's very hard to type and laugh your rear off at the same time. I'm watching our wedding video (again) and I just noticed there's this guy at our reception and I have NO CLUE as to why he's there!! I mean, I know the guy but he's a friend of my other friend so why he would come to my wedding is beyond me. Man, it was just so dang funny when that realization hit me. Oh, and my friend Chad said, "Julie...Ryan...I love you guys like a sister..." hehehe

I miss my wife. Julie, get back here and QUICK. :-)

My tip of the day is: Once you get married, never leave each other for more than a couple dang days. erg.

If you want to be greatly impacted, (angered, saddened, shocked, amused, surprized, etc.) you need to watch Breaking It Down with Serena on MTV. This "episode" (?I've never seen it before) is an expose of street people in LA and it's surrounding areas. Absolutely incredible. I'm not sure why I'm so emotional about this. Perhaps it's because these people are in our country and are...so lost. Some of the areas she went into I literally said, "I'd never go there." Druggies, prostitutes, homeless, shizos, etc. Guys turning tricks on guys for $40 to get speed and pot. Guys who haven't showered in over 2 months. People/Gutter Punks who choose to eat out of dumpsters. I'm overwhelmed...God, help me to do my part.

Well, this is interesting. Jim called back and said, "Just keep yours and enjoy it. I'll get Keith a new one. Thanks for being great tenants!" Isn't that rad?? Man, that's cool.

Stupid. Our landlord, who is generally pretty nice, pulled a stupid. He let us switch refrigerator's with our ex-neighbor when he moved last month but neglected to tell us he let the new tenant see the apartment with THAT fridge. So now the new tenant is all upset about the fridge and wants it back! Jim (landlord) called me at work today to see if I'd switch it back or with one in the basement. I REALLY don't want to. He got himself into this mess, he should get a new fridge for that guy anyway. I love this fridge, too. It's like Heaven compared to the other one we had. So that's getting at me right now. I understand the situation and want to be as helpful as I can but...I feel taken advantage of. Stupid.

A month and a half?? Man, have I ever neglected this thing. What a horrible...blogger-er. Oh, well...get back on that horse and ride! Whatever.

Call me corny, but Michael Card can put me at ease in a matter of seconds. It doesn't matter what I'm going through at all. There's just something about his voice and the power of his songs that cuts straight to my heart. (The Life is amazing) Michael, if you haven't heard of him, has been around for a LONG time. I grew up in the 80's listening to him and maybe that's part of the reason it's so comforting. Just to know something has been consistant in my life, ya know? The way he works scripture into song inspires me to try and write every time I hear him. Anyway...right now I'm peaceful with Michael singing Gentle Healer in my little apartment. Although, one ting is noticably missing...

My wife. Julie, I miss you, sweetheart. Julie's in Germany for another 2 weeks (it's been a week today!) and I'm slowly going mad. :-) I watched our wedding video again today and man...SHE IS AWESOME. She was so beautiful, so funny, so loving and excited. It still boggles my mind how well it all went. The best wedding ever. :-) So, I miss her like crazy. We talked today for a little while and it was so nice. It's incredible how small our world has become. Here she is, on the other side of the world, 7 hours ahead, and we talk like she's in the other room. Me on my cell in McDonalds no less! How strange. I'm so looking for her to get home. After the whole passport saga (I'll tackle that in a bit) happened, I'm just glad things worked out. She better be able to get back into this country!! If you read this, baby, I love and miss you like crazy. Remember to go to www.picturetrail.com/iamhaack if you need to see us. :-)

Well, I suppose I'd better document the passport debacle. Here it goes: Being the good husband that I am, I figured I'd get my wife's passport updated with her new name. So I sent it in about a month and a half before she left, being told (according to the form) that it'd take about 2-4 weeks. Fast-forward to 10 days before Julie leaves...still no passport. I call the NPIC ($5 a call, btw) to see where it is and the short version is that Julie told them to Fedex it overnight because it still wasn't done. They said it would be at our house by Friday. Saturday rolls around and still no passport. So far we've spent $60 for nothing. So Monday morning (closed on the weekends, of course) I'll call to figure out what to do. In short (again) I had to call them 4 more times in order to find out it had infact been sent and to get a tracking #. Fedex says the # doesn't exist. Great. They say it's apparently lost in the mail. Wonderful. We've spent $80 and have nothing to show for it...and it was supposed to be free!! So Julie decides to go to the agency in Chicago the morning of her trip to get a new passport in person. Luckily we made an automated appt. because the wait was 2 hours when she got there!! So she fills the forms out and as the lady is going through stuff she comes back and says, "Here's your passport right here. It's not done yet, though." WHAT?? We were told it was DONE and SENT. So she makes Julie wait another 4 hoursto finish it. The Climax: When Julie gets her "new" passport, the only difference is that on the back page of her ORIGINAL passport is TYPED "Julie's last name has been oficially changed to Julie Haack and this passport is amended as of June 12th, 2001." UNBELIEVABLE. So I'm writing as many people I can that can help me in any way. We better get our money back. But, thank God she was able to get on that plane and take those kids (exchange program trip) to Germany. Quite the experience.

So that's that. Man, do I need some time with the Lord. Things aren't horrible, I just feel...stagnant? I need a plan and to take action on that plan. It's nice to rest, but in order to rest you need to have been busy at some point. Right now I mostly feel lazy. Well, I guess I've written a good amount. I still have lots on my mind...perhaps I'll write more later. This has been great, though. I needed to write.

I'll leave with this: I can never decide on a biscuit or cornbread at KFC. That's why I get both.

I wonder if I really think the people in my tv can hear me? The way I scream and yell and complain and congratulate...I must. I LOVE sports and I get soooo into the when I watch. The problem is...I think it might be too much of a problem. I get seriously upset and angry if I forget to tell myself, "Ryan, they can't hear you. The Bucks are not your friends. You don't know any of them nor have you any real involvement with them other than being a fan." As long as I remind myself of this before every sporting event, I'll be okay. I'll be...okay. Amen.

GO BUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hehe

Oh, I really need to concentrate on finding a new job tomorrow. Starbucks is shafting me. I got 15 hours this week including closing on Wed. and opening (5:30am) on Thurs. Stupid. I'm going to call Walgreens and all the golf courses around here in the morning. I have a couple other leads, too.

Today's tip: Go and get a Grilled Stuft Burrito at the Bell. Now. They're open late. Go. I mean it.

Well, I freaked out today. It was one of those "everything that could go wrong went wrong" moments. I have an infection where one of my wisdom teeth is "coming in" so I had to go to the dentist because it hurts so bad. I'm not on Julie's insurance yet but we turned in the paperwork so it should be ok. So I thought. It turns out I need to get 3 wisdom teeth removed and that's expensive. So I called the insurance company to see if I was on officially and they said they have nothing. Also, just for kicks, they said there's a 30 day window after marriage to add a spouse. Well, that window is apparently closed. Want to know what the penalty is? I have to wait ONE YEAR to get on. A whole year???? Unbelievably stupid. So I'm freaking out and have no idea how to pay for this and my darn tooth hurts. :-(

I absolutely flipped. It's been a LONG time since I've felt so helpless and hopeless. I know Jesus will take care of us but it's the last thing I/we need right now.

Jesus, Jehovah Jirah, My Provider.

Oh, what a fun Tuesday night! I met up with a bunch of my friends from home in Chicago to see Delirious and Chris Tomlin last night. I can't hear very well today but it was a BLAST! Chris Tomlin was awesome. Worship with him was really fun and yet, very intimate. The sound for his band was a lot bigger than I thought it would be, too. As for Delirious...I've seen them do better. It seemed a little slow the whole time. But the crowd was "smaller" so they felt more comfortable to just kind of "hangout." It was still an incredible show by the boys. We got to sit with them before the show and talk worship for a while which was cool, too. The highlight had to be when Martin was talking about "dancing is the door to freedom" and so to show us how, he had their families come onstage and dance! 5 wives and 12 kids! It was absolutely adorable. What a rush to have your family onstage. So overall, the night was very, very good. My friends are awesome. :-)

Another reason the internet is so cool: I was thinking about my friend Lisa the other day (who I haven't seen or heard from in literally years) and lo and behold, I got an email from her yesterday! She was "surfing the web" and found my website! Isn't that weird? She was only the 39th visitor and I made it months ago and haven't really told anybody about it. Anyway, I just thought that was really cool. She's getting married in July, too. :-)

Speaking of getting married, I'm glad I did. I love my wife. I got home and headed into bed about 2am last night and she talked with me for a half hour or so when she had to get up at 5:30am. She's awesome. I'm really starting to "know" her more as far as what she likes and dislikes, etc. I mean I know all that stuff but when you're married, it's even deeper. Like Julie LOVES it when I clean or fix things. I love that and I love KNOWING that. I want to be so selfless in our relationship. That takes a lot of work but I have a feeling that after a little while it'll be second nature. Anyway, things between us are going awesome.

Today's advice: Get dental insurance before you get a bad toothache.

Dang, I haven't blogged forever...I suppose an update is in order.

Things on the marital front are going great. It's certainly no cakewalk but well worth it. We learn EVERY day what it means to be "one." In fact, that's kind of freaky to say. :-) We have such a long journey ahead of us...I can't wait.

I'm now a barista at Starbucks. hehe It's not a lifetime occupation but it's cool for now. The people I work with are wonderful and the atmosphere kicks butt. In fact, 3 of the guys there are youth workers! Hilarious. It's adequate for now but I'll be searching for something "more" still.

Man, I think there's a lot on my mind but I just don't have time to write about it tonight. I will later, though.

Do I need to pick a denomination if I'm going into ministry? That's one thing I'm pondering right now. More later...

The deed is done. Julie and I are married! The wedding went even better than I could have ever imagined. The part that affected me the most was when Julie and I served communion to our 250-some attendees. To look into the face of every person as they received the elements...wow, it was incredible! The reception was short but really nice. The food and cake were very tasty and we managed to start one of the tables on fire. hehe From the reception we headed to a bed and breakfast inn about 45 minutes away. That place was AWESOME. Breakfast was brought to us two days in a row and it was beyond delicious. The weather really cooperated, too. We headedd to our new home together on Sunday and then went to Chicago for the day on Monday. Most of our time was spent at the Shedd Aquarium and then "our restaurant," Pazzo's. Tuesday we spent hanging around just relaxing and then Julie headed back to teach on Wednesday. I've been doing TONS around the house trying to "marriage-ify" everything. Our apt., finances, insurance, etc. I love it. It's been a challenge but that's to be expected. Two lives coming together isn't the easiest thing to do. :-)

Well, I have to get back to work. It's date night and I need to get things done. :-)

It's Monday. Julie and I are getting married on Friday. This week is going to be hectic but I am DETERMINED to not let it get the best of me. :-) I need to spend a good amount of "quiet time" with the Lord EVERY DAY this week, that's for sure. If you think about it, please pray for Julie and I this week. Thanks.

My second to last day of work here at the hospital. All the "ladies" got me a card to show their appreciation. It was very sweet. It's always good to know you're appreciated. Oh, and Jules, we got $80 from them all! Nice. Now we have gas money! WHOOHOOOOO! hehe

The other thing I'm excited about is...the NCAA tourney! aww, yeah. The best time of year. I already filled out one bracket sheet. I have Duke vs. Arizona in the one. Might have to rethink that... What could be better than tourney time and marriage/honeymoon?? I'll tell you: NOTHING. Here's a little story of how awesome my fiance is: Our honeymoon room didn't have a tv in it so Julie said, "We have to have a tv! How else will we watch the tournament??" So we upgraded. She's the absolute coolest. :-)

Today's tip: If you're ever in need of money or "things," get married. hehe

Today's tip is for McDonald's:

ALWAYS have the person that SPEAKS ENGLISH run the drive-thru. Please.

Did I say UNC by 14? I meant Duke by 14. hehe Weird how that turned out. The media did a great job of convincing us all that Boozer IS the Duke team. Pathetic. I should've known better. Anyway...

10 days til marital bliss. It definately is hectic but I can't wait! Man, this is going to be sweet.

I would like to thank Kristen as she is the only person who has signed my guest book so far. I would also like to ask her to calm down. THE DUKE/UNC GAME ISN'T TIL TOMORROW! hehe My prediction? Tarheels by 14.

I hope I'm not the only one who finds it strange that CNN.com's "special report" is about a television program. Is "The Sopranos" really worthy of a "special report?" hmm...

I wonder what will happen with my message board? It never seems like "new boards" take off. The Back40 did fine and I wonder why that is? Was it timing? Were people arguing on another board and just wanted another place to write and kind of "start over?" I've started 2 boards in the past and they both died hideous deaths. Perhaps the timing was off. Maybe the board was technically appalling. All I know is...who cares? hehe Technology can be fun.

I'm trying to keep a good attitude today. I was reading in Hebrews last night about exhorting each other "while today is yet today, lest 'we' become hardened in 'our' sin." I realized that I really don't have that in my life. My family certainly doesn't, the people at work don't, and I only see "church friends" Sundays and Wednesdays if I'm lucky. That's one thing I'm so looking forward to now in marriage. The opportunity for Julie and I to exhort one another DAILY. I really need that. I sure as heck don't want to be hardened in my sin! God sure knows how things work. :-)

16 days til me and the most gorgeous best friend on the earth get married. Why can't it be the 16th today??

I just added a Guest Book and a Poll so check them out!!

It's Ash Wednesday, a nice follow-up to Fat Tuesday. hehe It's the start of Lent, too. I don't know that I've ever participated in Lent. It's always just seemed so trite to me. People giving up chocolate or coffee and then complaining for a month straight. What fun. There are very few people that I admire during this time that "do Lent" the way it should be done. These people don't make a spectacle out of it, but they do it in secret so only their Father sees. I respect that. To be honest, I'm not really sure what the ultimate point of Lent is...I suppose I'll have to find out. And why do people put ashes on their forhead today? Boy, am I ever the ignorant one. :-)

I'm listening to Andrew Peterson today. Yum. I'm also listening to the new Dave Matthews Band cd. Yuck. What were they thinking? Oh, well...

My friend Chad got hired to work with me and starts next Monday. hehe I hooked a brutha up. I'll only get to work with him a little while though because...I'M GETTING MARRIED AND MOVING IN WITH MY WIFE. :-)

Today's "sum it up" word is: Details.

Zach or Slater. Who was cooler? I would like to submit that Zach was cooler. Slater was Zach's lackey and was nothing without him. Sure, Slater was a wrestler but that was about it. Zach masterminded everything. Masterminded?


Zach Morris. King of cool.

Here's a dilemma: If someone comes up to you and starts talking to you SO LOUDLY that you get embarrassed, what should you do?

A. Act like they're talking in a normal manner, because they probably just talk that way.
B. Grimace and take a few obvious steps backwards.
C. Shout back at them when you respond.
D. Say something witty, like, "I'm not deaf, ma'am." or "You got a volume knob on ya?"
E. Run away.

Personally, I like choice C.

It's Friday and you gotta love that. Although, this will be another full weekend for me and Jules. Lots to do in preperation for the big day! duh. :-) 21 days, baby. Golly, am I looking forward to that. Tonight will be fun, though. We're going to take some time to eat with my family and watch some old BETA(!!!) videos I found of me from when I was 11. Hilarious. I was too cool for my own good. In an absolute DORK sort of way. Tomorrow we have our second to last counseling session which should be cool and then we have TONS of work to do the rest of Saturday. Honestly, I'm looking forward to it.

I started Knowing God by J.I. Packer last night. WHY HAVE I NOT READ THIS BOOK YET? Wow, I'm only 50 pages in but it is as good as I've heard. Julie's dad got it for me for Christmas (one of many theological books he got me :-)) and I'm so glad he did. It's exactly what I've always thought about knowing ABOUT God and knowing OF God or knowing Him. It's so well written, too...very fluid and practical. I'm really looking forward to my continued reading of this book. I must be regenerated because I feel it's impact on me already and richard says that...hehe

One word to sum everything up: Schlotsky's.

oh, and I'm the mole...

Man, this weekend is going to be busy. Julie and I get our marriage license this afternoon!! I think it's going to be a blast but Julie's worried about the weekend in general so I'll have to do my best to get her in the mood and stuff. Then I have a rehearsal dinner to go to for my friend's Nate and Christa while Julie gets her first wedding dress fitting!! Very cool. I'm dj-ing at Nate and Christa's reception. Hopefully that'll go well. Then Saturday is absolutely full...breakfast with a friend for Julie, wedding band shopping, tux measuring, lunch with friends, wedding and reception for N+C...Oh, and Sunday. :-) It'll be all good, though. I'm actually looking forward to it. In the mean time, it's work as usual...

Me and the wife-to-be. :-)

I can't figure out how to get pictures to come up on here. If anybody can tell me how to do it, I would appreciate it. HTML is not my friend.

This is obviously a new Blogger site. Angelfire was doing a real "bang-up" job of hosting my Blogger stuff (catch the sarcasm?) so I switched to BlogSpot.com. So far, through 2 posts, I'm LOVING IT. hehe Since it's easier to publish with this site I'll try to post more, too. Bonus.

Only 29 days until I take the plunge with my sweetheart. I can't say how excited I am only because there are no words to describe it. We're eligible to get our marriage license which we'll apply for tomorrow! Man, this is so cool. :-) All of the "big stuff" is taken care of so now we just have all these little detail types of things to do. It can get kind of frustrating but I'm sure it's going to be well worth it. hehe Julie pointed out that we hadn't been reading any "marriage books" lately so I finally started "Intended for Pleasure" by Dr. Ed Wheat and it's awesome! The whole first 2 or 3 chapters really impacted me because it was basically a counseling session before getting into the basics of sex and whatnot. Not sure what all could be in the next 170 pages!! hehehe One thing I was really convinced of (again) is that God calls be to be a student of His Word. I want to be that, too. Study the Word and study my Wife; two musts. :-)